a guide to interacting with your server
May 3rd, 2007 by nickromaniak
written in that darkest of hours for every waiter. this is from the old days of the brite spot graveyard. rest in peace ye night-crew of olde.
1. you are an idiot
2. your server has many more important things to do, but has taken a few precious moments of his time and wasted them talking to you. this means hurry up. hurry the fuck up and order.
3. do not ever complain
4. if your server is rude to you, you should tip him well. the next time he sees you, he may be less rude or even pleasant. if your server is still rude upon you next meeting, comtinue to increase the tip amount until your waiter is able to tolerate you.
5. NEVER mention your server’s lack of emotion, motivation, or enthusiasm.
6. do not tell him how you are doing unless he asks first.
7. do not make little jokes with your server unless he initiates it. remember, your jokes are not funny.
8. do not mention how expensive stuff is. primarily, your server does not care. also, your server did not set the prices. remember, your job is to not aggravate your server.
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Fucking hillarious. I wholeheartedly agree. The customer is always wrong unless it just so happens that the customer’s thoughts are identical to the employee.