77 Wars

Ahh… Spring is on it’s way and usually it’s nice to get a breath of fresh air. To feel a cleansing energy and a sense of renewal… But for me, I feel like I am inhaling stagnant, sulphur-filled lung fulls of pure feces.

This feeling will pass, but here’s the run-down on my bad mood:

1. The Dodgers signed Manny to a 2-year $45M deal this morning. Which is great on one hand, because we didn’t sign him to a 3rd or 4th year. But if this is our solution to improving our ballclub, I’m not really sure what the fuck is going on. Manny might not try. Manny is not a very good outfielder. Our pitching staff lost a lot of consistency and punch with Lowe and Tsaito taking off, and what did we do? We got Randy Wolf and Shawn Estes. Uhh, did anyone tell the Dodgers that their pitching staff was not so good in the first place? Our platoon of arms includes Jason “6 games pitched since 2007″ Schmidt. Considering the $47M, 3-year contract he signed 2 years ago, we have paid him $7,833,333 per game he has pitched.

Of course, we Dodger fans should feel lucky that FATFUCK JONES is gone. At $18M a year, Jones hit about, what was it? 3 home runs for us and was so fucking fat, he broke his knee, half-assing it (though, I guess half of HIS ass is still quite significant) across the outfield only to be too late to catch anything. Looking at this fat fucking whale out there made me angry. Combined with Jason Schit, we paid a combined $33M last year for a .153 Batting Average for Jones and no games pitched for Schit.

Why didn’t we go after Abreu and Dunn? It’s only February and I feel like I hate baseball already. The one thing we have going is that the NL West is so fucking horrible, that we can probably still win it with only 2 quality starters (Billingsley and 2nd year Kershaw), one big bat, and three solid on-base guys.

Did I mention that I hate baseball?

2.  The NHL trade deadline passed. I didn’t expect much to happen with the Kings. We have made solid progress, but faltered lately and look to be much less likely to secure a low playoff berth. A couple of things stuck out… why not claim Satan off waivers, get him for about $600,000 for the reat of the season without losing anything and maybe help push this team into a playoff berth where our young guys (including outstanding rookie Doughty, captain Brown, Frolov, Kopitar, O’Sullivan, Johnson, Quick, etc…)could see the post-season for the first time. JUST SIMPLY to taste it, to savor in the excitement. To expect better… There were a number of guys on waivers that could have contributed something, only cost us half their salray on the remaining 20 games, and then been gone to free agency come summer, in time for us to make our next moves. I am excited that my team has come so far in so short a time. But being a Kings fan for 20 years, repeating my annual springtime mantra of  “next year ” does always manage to sting. I love my Kings, I do, and I am proud of our progress.

This just in… O’Sullivan traded for Justin Williams. Not sure how I feel about it yet. Though Williams has won a cup and played in 42 playoff games… maybe he can be a solid veteran mentor and is only 27 (3 years older than sully). They are both under contract for 2 more years, with O’Sullivan making $2.8M and Williams $3.5M. O’Sullivan was not one to help motivate and was a bit whiny last season. Maybe this guy can help light a fire under our guys. We’ll see soon enough.

3. The Lakers. Dominant. Even after losing to two shitty teams on the road they look outstanding and built solidly for a run at the title. But this is the thing… I don’t really fucking care. I like watching the playoffs, but for me, let’s use this analogy…  Hockey is my favorite sport hands down. Watching the NHL for me is like hanging out with my best friends, drinking some good beers and having a nice medium-rare steak cooked to perfection. Baseball to me is like hanging out with my best friends, drinking some good, but slightly cheaper beers and eating some bratwurst. NFL to me is exciting, but definitely 3rd on the list and it HAS to be an interesting matchup. Basketball to me is like hanging with some alright guys from work who I don’t know very well, drinking some shitty beers and eating a pre-packaged sandwich.So, hooray for Civic Pride. I love Los Angeles, I was born here, I hate the Angels and I can’t stand the fucking Ducks. I love my city… I DO NOT want to die here, but I love it.

Though, on a another positive note, I still have use of all four of my limbs, I have 2.5 jobs in a completely screwed economy, and I like a ton of shit not related to sweaty, overpaid men. In fact, if my teams keep fucking up, it will free up time I spend reading about them for me to do things that actually matter. Thanks Dodgers! Thanks Kings!